| Gore-ing the Gays | patois | 6/18/99 |
Bravo, Jack,
You have hit the nail on the head, or at least expressed the
legitimate
concern in the context of the missions of the Naval
Services. We should
bend with the winds of social experimentation, so long as the
mission is not
impacted.
In the ancient past, barely controllable, ignorant, crude
testosterone-laden
swabbies put out the fires, filled the holes, boarded the ships,
and
plundered the enemy. They would not have passed Mrs.
Marshall's SAT's. As
technology has changed, we rely less and less on the old
"bell bottomed"
sailor. The Boatswan's Locker is an anachronism.
Warfare is to be
prosecuted with elan and sophistication by socially-aware and
sexually-diverse naval persons.
After President Gore's first State of the Union address, the new
SecNav,
Nita Lowey, will announce the new modernization program of the
Navy, Fleet
Realignment for Ecumunical Diversity or FRED, that will require
individual
quarters and personal showers for every enlisted person, expanded
medical
staff to include at least one pediatrician, a Day Care center and
Hair Salon
on every ship, as well as sauna baths with private booths for
those "oh soo"
private moments. Rigid limits of only one overnight visitor
per naval
person. Watches will be staggered to afford the maximum
sociablility.
Senator Hillary Rodham Carpetbagger will sponsor a Bill to amend
the Geneva
Convention that requires all combatants to stand down if the
other side's
computer is down or if more than 40% of the ship is in "a
family way."
SecDev Maxine Waters will announce a new committment that US
Armed Forces
will only fight "fair". Any potential combatants
will be able to petition
for weapons systems exclusions that might constitute an
"unfair" fight. The
new Chief Justice, Sheila Jackson Lee would arbitrate which
weapons may be
used in the conflict.
Let's face it Jack, we're just old fashioned. We either
have to get with
it, or step aside for the more enlightened ones.
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